Julian's Voice
  • Award-WInning Books on Julian of Norwich
  • Who was Julian of Norwich?
  • Book Reviews for "An Explorer's Guide to Julian of Norwich"
  • Book Reviews for "Julian's Gospel"
  • Book Awards for "Julian's Gospel"
  • Meditating with Julian
  • A Retreat with Julian
  • Book Talks and Retreats
  • Retreat Photos
  • About Veronica Mary Rolf
  • More Award-Winning Books by Veronica Mary Rolf
  • Veronica's Blog
  • "Life, Love, & Light" Podcasts with Veronica Mary Rolf
  • Videos and Interviews
  • Contact Veronica
  • UPCOMING EVENTS
  • Award-WInning Books on Julian of Norwich
  • Who was Julian of Norwich?
  • Book Reviews for "An Explorer's Guide to Julian of Norwich"
  • Book Reviews for "Julian's Gospel"
  • Book Awards for "Julian's Gospel"
  • Meditating with Julian
  • A Retreat with Julian
  • Book Talks and Retreats
  • Retreat Photos
  • About Veronica Mary Rolf
  • More Award-Winning Books by Veronica Mary Rolf
  • Veronica's Blog
  • "Life, Love, & Light" Podcasts with Veronica Mary Rolf
  • Videos and Interviews
  • Contact Veronica
  • UPCOMING EVENTS

Spiritual Highs & Lows

10/30/2014

2 Comments

 
During the Seventh Revelation, Christ grants Julian “a supreme, ghostly delight” in her soul. She feels full of eternal “sekernesse [security], mightily fastened without any painful dread.” This euphoria is “so glad and so spiritual” that she is in complete peace, ease, and rest, so much so that there was “nothing on earth that could have grieved me.” She is experiencing a contemplative state of stillness and joy, the prayer of exquisite quiet in the presence of God. This sense of presence, while utterly spiritual, is more convincing than any physical sight.
But it is ephemeral.


A Sudden Shift
This lasted but a while, and I was turned and left to myself in such heaviness and weariness of my life and irkenes [irritation] with myself, that I could barely have patience to live. There was no comfort nor any ease to my feeling, but faith, hope and charity, and these I had in truth, but very little in feeling.

A sharp and sudden shift occurs. Julian feels as if she has been dropped out of heaven. (How well we know the feeling!) Left alone on earth, she is full of sadness, weariness, and irkenes, that is, acute annoyance with herself. She scarcely has the patience to go on living. What a drastic change! Yet this shock and dismay at feeling suddenly abandoned by God is a familiar one in the mystical life. It is a classic example of the return of the visionary from the heights of high contemplation down to the harsh fact of her still-separateness from divinity and a very human dissatisfaction with herself. In such a state, all that Julian could hold onto was her faith, hope, and love, and this she did “in truth,” but without any sense of consolation.

Spiritual Extremes
And soon after this, our blessed lord gave me again the comfort and the rest in soul: delight and sekernesse so blissful and so mighty that no dread, nor sorrow, nor any bodily nor ghostly pain that might be suffered could have unsettled me. And then the pain shewed again to my feeling, and then the joy and the delight, and now that one, and now the other, diverse times, I suppose about twenty times.

Julian’s excruciating oscillation between the utmost bliss and extreme turmoil recurs some “twenty times.” One minute she feels totally at peace in the presence of God, the next she is like a little boat being tossed about on the high seas. She is reminded of sacred scripture, but her references are inaccurate. She conflates two gospel passages: Matthew 8:25 (“Lord, save us! We are perishing!”), spoken not by Peter alone, but by all the disciples to the sleeping Jesus in the boat during a storm; and Matthew 14:30 (“Lord, save me!”), cried by Peter on another occasion when he began to sink after walking toward Christ on the water. This confusion strongly suggests that Julian did not own or have access to a copy of the new Wyclif English translation of the gospels. But she did know the essential meaning of these passages, having heard them quoted in English sermons and also from a lifetime of meditation. Thus it was natural for her to identify the dramatic swings of feeling with the extremes of ecstasy described by St. Paul in his letter to the Romans (Rom 8:38–39) and the agony voiced by St. Peter and the other disciples. Julian is convinced that she had to undergo these spiritual extremes in order to learn that it is profitable for souls to be unmoored in this way:

. . . sometimes to be in comfort, and sometimes to fail and to be left to themselves. God wills that we know that he protects us ever in the same seker [security], in woe and in wele [well-being]. And for the profit of man’s soul a man is sometimes left to himself, although sinne is not always the cause. For in this time, I sinned not for which I should be left to myself, for it was so sudden. Also, I deserved not to have this blissful feeling, but freely our lord gives it when he wills, and suffers us to be in woe sometimes, and both are one love.

The Value of Patience
The analytic understanding of this Revelation must have come a long time after the experience itself. Reflecting on “What does this mean?”, Julian is led to appreciate that both well-being and woe, common aspects of human existence, must be borne with patience. But the Revelation is clear that woe is not always the result of sinful behavior (Julian was convinced she had not sinned “in this time”), nor is the wele, that is, the graced sense of God’s presence, ever deserved. It is gift, pure and simple. The one reality we can be sure of is that both states of mind are “one love.” By seeming to come close and then removing himself, God teaches us not to crave blissful feelings over blind faith. God wants us to believe in his presence, whether we feel it or not: “For it is God’s will that we hold ourselves in comfort with all our might.”

Clinging to Faith
Julian is fully aware that bliss will be everlasting and that earthly pain is merely passing and “shall be brought to nought for them that shalle be saved.” But while we are trapped in this earthly mode of swinging between the two extremes, she is adamant that it is not God’s will that we pay undue attention to the feelings of pain and allow ourselves to sorrow and mourn over them, “but quickly pass over them and hold ourselves in the endless delight that is God.”

Unlike the common medieval spiritual directive that the faithful should see their pains and sense of abandonment as direct punishments from God, or as signs of God’s disfavor which they should bear with a heavy heart, Julian’s conviction is that God wants his people to cling in faith to the fact of his love, even and especially in the midst of great suffering.

Spiritual Readiness
In these times of worldwide “woe” and unimaginable suffering, it is imperative that we not allow our spiritual peace of mind to be dragged down into a despairing attitude, imagining “all is lost.” If we could visit Julian in her anchorage, I think she would encourage us to trust “mightily” that God is working through people and in events – even now! – to bring good out of the evil we see and read about and fear. And she would remind us that clinging to that trust with all our hearts and minds, while maintaining our spiritual practices in times of doubt, create the spiritual readiness that will allow the Spirit’s light to break through our darkness into joy.

As Julian herself wrote:
It is known that before miracles, come sorrows and anguish and trouble . . . And great miracles come after, because of the high might and wisdom and goodness of God, showing his virtues and the joys of heaven, as far as it may be possible in this passing life, and that for the strengthening of our faith, and increase of our hope in love. Therefore it pleases him to be known and worshipped in miracles.

Let us trust that, even though we cannot yet see them, the Lord is preparing miracles of transformation.


2 Comments
Brett Folkman
11/6/2014 11:07:53 am

This post and Julian's experience really resonates with my personal experience. I first started to recognize this pattern of the highs and lows coupled with spiritual experiences as a young missionary in South Africa. I learned to be ready for the lows after a miracle or powerful out pouring of the Holy Ghost and often that is when Satan tries to tempt us or bring us into despair or to doubt the goodness of God or the reality of an experience. I've taught my children this cycle and it has helped them keep the faith and not let doubts, fears or depressed spirit overcome the joys and blessings of God. This is all part of the mortal experience and learning to trust in Christ, no matter what!

Her experience also reminds me of the apocryphal account of Moses, small excerpt below, but came to mind when reading this post - thanks! (Moses 1:1-14)

1 The words of God, which he spake unto Moses at a time when Moses was caught up into an exceedingly high mountain,

2 And he saw God face to face, and he talked with him, and the glory of God was upon Moses; therefore Moses could endure his presence.

3 And God spake unto Moses, saying: Behold, I am the Lord God Almighty, and Endless is my name; for I am without beginning of days or end of years; and is not this endless?

4 And, behold, thou art my son; wherefore look, and I will show thee the workmanship of mine hands; but not all, for my works are without end, and also my words, for they never cease.

5 Wherefore, no man can behold all my works, except he behold all my glory; and no man can behold all my glory, and afterwards remain in the flesh on the earth.

6 And I have a work for thee, Moses, my son; and thou art in the similitude of mine Only Begotten; and mine Only Begotten is and shall be the Savior, for he is full of grace and truth; but there is no God beside me, and all things are present with me, for I know them all.

7 And now, behold, this one thing I show unto thee, Moses, my son, for thou art in the world, and now I show it unto thee.

8 And it came to pass that Moses looked, and beheld the world upon which he was created; and Moses beheld the world and the ends thereof, and all the children of men which are, and which were created; of the same he greatly marveled and wondered.

9 And the presence of God withdrew from Moses, that his glory was not upon Moses; and Moses was left unto himself. And as he was left unto himself, he fell unto the earth.

10 And it came to pass that it was for the space of many hours before Moses did again receive his natural strength like unto man; and he said unto himself: Now, for this cause I know that man is nothing, which thing I never had supposed.

11 But now mine own eyes have beheld God; but not my natural, but my spiritual eyes, for my natural eyes could not have beheld; for I should have withered and died in his presence; but his glory was upon me; and I beheld his face, for I was transfigured before him.

12 And it came to pass that when Moses had said these words, behold, Satan came tempting him, saying: Moses, son of man, worship me.

13 And it came to pass that Moses looked upon Satan and said: Who art thou? For behold, I am a son of God, in the similitude of his Only Begotten; and where is thy glory, that I should worship thee?

14 For behold, I could not look upon God, except his glory should come upon me, and I were transfigured before him. But I can look upon thee in the natural man. Is it not so, surely?

Reply
Camille Thornton-Alson
11/24/2014 02:14:36 am

I always feel so much comfort when I read about people such as Julian feeling the highs and the lows of life. It inspires my own faith to come forward in my own spiritual lows. Thank you for the post!

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Archives

    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013

    Categories

    All
    A Call To Arms!
    Acts Of Peace
    A Different Kind Of Lent
    Affirmation
    A Marvelous Mixture
    America Magazine Interview With The Pope
    A Mighty Comfort
    A Mother's Service
    And Trust
    "Art Thou Well Apaid?"
    Ash Wednesday
    Assumption Of Mary
    A Universalist?
    Authenticity Of Mystical Revelations
    A Vision Of Christ
    Beholding
    Beholding God
    Being Loved
    "Being There" With Christ During Holy Week
    Chosen By Love
    Christ
    Christmas Love
    Christ On The Cross
    Christ Our Mother
    Christ's Birth In The Soul
    Christ's Children
    Christ's Thirst On The Cross
    Christ's Werking In Us
    Contemplative Beholding
    Cultivating Joy
    Daring To Believe
    Do Not Despair
    Don't Blame God
    Easter Reflection
    Enclosed And Aware
    Feast Of The Sacred Heart
    Giving And Receiving Thanks
    Giving Birth
    Giving Thanks
    Giving Up Or Giving Over?
    God And The Soul
    God's Eternal Love
    God's Mercy And Julian
    God's Tender Love
    God's Unconditional Love
    Grace
    Hanging On To Hope
    Hanging Onto Hope
    Help In The Storm
    Holy Church Shall Be Shaken
    How Can "All Things Be Made Well?"
    How Julian Understood God
    Image And Likeness Of God
    Impact Of Evil
    Julian
    Julian And Lent
    Julian And The Hazelnut
    Julian And The Pope
    Julian Of Norwich
    Julian's Advice
    Julian's Cure
    Julian's Feast Day
    Julian's Healing
    Julian's Suffering World
    Julian's Three Gifts
    Julian's Voice
    Lenten Longing
    Lent & "Noughting"
    Life
    & Light
    Longing And Pity
    Love
    Loved By God
    Love Is The Meaning
    Love Longing
    Love-longing
    Making Julian's Revelations Relevant
    Mary's Feast Day
    Mary's Humility
    Meditation
    Mind Of The Passion
    Mystics
    Need For God
    Not Guns
    No Wrath In God
    Our Godly Will
    Our Mother
    Our Spiritual Work
    Our Tragic World
    Our Whole Life In Love
    Patience In Suffering
    Persistence In Prayer
    Prayer As Response
    Prayer Of Petition
    Prayer Of Thanksgiving
    Praying For Everything
    Praying Through Lent
    Prince Of Peace
    Problem Of Evil
    Pursuit Of Happiness
    Reassurance
    Resting In God
    Reverent Beholding
    Rightful Fear
    Secureness And Delight
    "See! I Am God!"
    Seek
    Seeking And Beholding
    Spiritual Transformation
    Suffer
    Suffering And Sin
    Suffering Mother
    Tenth-revelation
    Thanksgiving
    The Blood Of Christ
    The Blood Of Martyrs
    The Divine Names
    The Glad Giver
    The Glad Receiver
    The Godly Will
    The Great Deed
    The Great Deed Of Scripture
    The Ground Of Our Prayer
    The Ground Of Prayer
    The Ground Of Thy Beseeching
    The Hearts Of Jesus And Mary
    The Joy Of Resurrection
    The Light Of Faith
    The Lord's Meaning
    The Mind Of Christ
    The Passion Of Christ
    The People Of God
    The Prodigal Mother
    The Undervalued Virtue Of Patience
    Three Revelations About Mary
    Times Of Trouble
    Trust And Faith
    Types Of Fear
    Types Of Mystical Revelations
    Viral Opportunity
    Vision Of Mary
    War And Peace
    What Is A Mystical Experience
    Why Julian Now?
    "Wilt Thou See Her?"
    Wordless Prayer
    World Suffering
    Www.onethousandactsofpeace.org

    RSS Feed

    -amazon.com/author/veronicamaryrolf

    All text copyrighted © 2013-2018 by Veronica Mary Rolf. All rights reserved. No copying or reprints allowed without the express permission of the Author.
    Protected by Copyscape Plagiarism Detector
    Picture
All text copyrighted © 2013-2023 by Veronica Mary Rolf. All rights reserved. No copying or reprints allowed without the express permission of the Author.​​
  • Award-WInning Books on Julian of Norwich
  • Who was Julian of Norwich?
  • Book Reviews for "An Explorer's Guide to Julian of Norwich"
  • Book Reviews for "Julian's Gospel"
  • Book Awards for "Julian's Gospel"
  • Meditating with Julian
  • A Retreat with Julian
  • Book Talks and Retreats
  • Retreat Photos
  • About Veronica Mary Rolf
  • More Award-Winning Books by Veronica Mary Rolf
  • Veronica's Blog
  • "Life, Love, & Light" Podcasts with Veronica Mary Rolf
  • Videos and Interviews
  • Contact Veronica
  • UPCOMING EVENTS